LifesMixedTape

Tue, 09 May 2006 21:55:04 GMT

what is it that you need from me?
i would love to know
do you want me to stay?
or do you want me to go?
because confusion seems to fit me quite well
but i'm finding out that what i need is a spell
ill cast it on you
& you'll see that trying to be perfect
can be perfect hell

so come along on this journey with me
we'll fly away to a place where everything is free
even heartbreak and loneliness seem to fade
the colors are bright and sparkling
it'll seem we've got it made
until the alarm beeps
and you find yourself groggy and awake
for it was only a delusion of imagination --
some call it a dream

don't worry we can go again
but it doesn't last long

so instead of relying on all that is fake
bring yourself back to yo senses
and lets talk about this
lets find out what's at stake
we'll lay it all out
maybe ponder a bite about where it all went wrong
maybe a left when the map said right?
maybe you were driving to fast and missed the light?
did you forget what you were looking for?
did you remember where to go?

let's get together and retrace the path
it's no big deal
don't worry about it
maybe it's all a dream?
i'm afraid not, but that doesn't mean
everything is lost
no, no, not at all
you know everyone does it
everyone falls

just make the call.

life.

Tue, 02 May 2006 02:46:23 GMT

the problem with me is the same it's ever been.
i want to slow down, but my brain tells me to speed up, and there i go again.
"take one day at a time" she says.
but the world just won't let me.
time goes either too fast or too slow..
not directing me... i never know which way to go.

i'm confused about something, just like before.
i thought this time it would be different, but what do i know..
everyday i feel like i learn something new, only for it to come back around
and i'm left with nothing, but that's just what im use to.
it's really no big deal, just the thoughts keep turning
round and round, just like a ferris wheel.

and so they come and go.
nothing is meant to last.
atleast that i know.
all the best things i've ever had, some how find a way out.
and once they leave, im left to wonder...
how did i ever get here..how did i lose track?
and do i dare to turn back?

but this time i'm just gonna keep on going.
i dont want to think anymore about where i went wrong...
or what i left behind me,
because it is possible to change.
there is a chance that things could be different.

i had to find out on my own,
and i had to go alone.

and after all that has been,
i finally feel that maybe i know where i'm going,
not what i'm going to do when i get there,
but this time there's an arrow
and it's pointing straight to you.
i want all that i use to think about to be gone.
i want to prove it all wrong...

maybe this one good thing might just last.
it won't be easy,
but i'm okay with that.
i can fight now,
i'm stronger then before.
so i'm for the challenge.
i'll always be ready for more.

so as the days go on,
and its time to say goodbye...
just know that this time its worth it,
this time i'm going to try.
because someday we'll look back and say
"i guess we were right, it was meant to be this way."

today I'm okay.

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 20:34:41 GMT

today is another day.
today is a day with a bright beginning and a hopeful night.
i see a future that is filled with sunshine, for spring break is right around the corner.
spring break is something to hope for.
it is a much needed elapse in time. time spent away from home & the brookfield bubble.
i am beginning to realize that this place i call home & the bubble, is somewhere i can come to see it all.
when i come back here there will be a rush of comfort & familiarity. the place that has shaped my life.
a place that video-taped& photographed the smiles, the tears, the late night break-downs, and moments of pure bliss.
a place were i have created a masterpiece of friendship and heartbreak.
a place where i met my other half.
the place i've lost friends... and made new ones.
the place i became myself and learned about life. [sometimes in a not so beautiful fashion]
the place where i learned about love, betrayal, drugs, and reality.
the place that has been everchanging with me, the traffic still zooms, and i still go crazy sometimes.
the place that i will leave, and come back to when i need rescue.
i'm beginning to realize that i've taken advantage of the safety and comfort of home.
i will be leaving soon, i will be leaving you.
i will embark on a brand new adventure, alone, but with thousands of other human beings, completely different, and entirely the same.
people will cry, and i will cry, and then eventually from somewhere down inside there will creep a smile.
and i will say it's okay, because it will always be you & me.
the memories will fly through my brain, and i will recall all the good times, the stupid fights, the times we thought would last forever, but seemed to disappear so fast.
this place holds past.
this place is home.
so pretty soon we will go.
but that time is not now >> no we still have some time to photograph the memories & download the songs that make up
...................... lifes mixed tape...........................
so bring on the bubble.
the bubble that has shaped our lives.